First, let me say this: I feel like this is kind of a controversial or taboo topic to tackle because no one wants to admit they hate one of their employees. But more than that, they don’t to come off as if they hate one of their employees, so that’s why this blog is important.

In her Dental Practice Management Article “How to manage the employee you hate,” Lisa Newburger recognizes that it’s not politically correct to be honest about hating an employee, but, she writes, it’s a reality that you’re not going to like every single one of those you manage. 

Newburger goes on to list things you should do and things you definitely should never ever do when it comes to managing that particular employee.

What you might want to do but should NEVER do when managing the employee you hate:

1. Sabotage him/her.
2. Gossip about him/her.
3. Push his/her buttons and make him/her explode.
4. Humiliate him/her.
5. Make him/her quit.

The above list are all things Newburger felt about employees she’s managed that she hated. “Sometimes someone just irritates the heck out of me and I want (revenge badly,” she writes. “It comes from a deep place inside me that is purely evil. It’s so hard to believe I could really revel in wanting to hurt someone else, but it happens.” 

But, she goes on to write, that bosses who are have these thoughts need to snap out of it. “You don’t want to do these things to someone. Or, you shouldn’t,” she writes. “What can you do? How can you get your employee to behave and perform their job? How can you get them to just show up for work on time? You are sick and tired of this nonsense. The rest of the staff should not be subjected to this kind of behavior over and over again. What can you do without sinking to such a low level?”

Newburger writes that there are expectations of this employee and he or she should do them or leave. “I know it sounds a little bit harsh, but is it?” she writes. “If both management and the emploee are unhappy, sometimes there is only one answer.”

Managers should take the high road on this one, she writes, and take the legal, ethical and common-sense approach to dealing with this by adhering to the five tips below.

What you should do when managing the employee you hate:

1. Document. Document. Document. Keep track of specific incidents and start a paper trail. 
2. Let the person know there is an issue. After all, the employee can’t change the behavior until he or she knows there is one. 
3. Have a plan of action with the employee. Address the specific issues and let them know what’s expected. “If they don’t want to come to work on time, let them know they don’t have to,” Newburger writes. “Have them sign and agree to the plan of action.
4. Do not gossip about this person with anyone in the practice.  Go through the chain of command and do it behind closed doors. “Make sure no one hears conversations about this employee,” she writes. “You shoot yourself in the foot when you manage employees and forget you are not one of them. You are management. Management does not gossip.
5. Do not sabotage or live in a distorted reality of wanting to fire someone. “Keep your eyes on the prize,” she writes. “The prize is not firing  . . . it is finding a solution.” Newburger said you should exhaust all possibilities to resolve problems, as firing has an impact on practices. Even if the employee wasn’t liked, managers still send a message that anyone could be fired. 

Newburger writes that managers should never forget that being a boss means having to deal wit problems every day. “How you deal with those situations really marks what kind of a leader you are,” she writes. 

Here at Dental Temps Professional Services we spend a lot of time discussing what you should do in a professional capacity. But today, I’m here to discuss what you shouldn’t do. 

The list below is from Lisa Newburger, LISWS and appears the DentistryIQ article “What NOT to do as a boss of a dental practice.” Newburger is a licensed social worker who is known for tacking difficult topics for dental practices with boldness and honesty. Her tips might seem like common sense, but remember: if someone had to write this list, there was likely a boss somewhere who was doing one or more of the following.

Five Tips a Boss Should Always Remember

1. Do NOT try to be friends with your employees. Newburger writes that being a boss is like raising children. “You will never be one of us,” she writes. “Even if you were one of us and have been promoted, you are no longer part of our group. That is reality.” Bosses have subordinates, and they cannot be friends with people who report to them. There are times that managers have to deal with disciplinary issues, which is obviously unpleasant, but it becomes even worse for both you and your employee if you are friends.  
2. Do NOT ask your employees on a date. As Newburger puts it, not only could this lead to an extremely uncomfortable situation, it could also open you up to harassment. “You will put everyone in a terrible position if you ask any of us out or give us any signals you’re interested in any of us,” she writes. “That doesn’t mean we want you to fire anyone. What it means is we don’t want to ruin our professional relationship!”
3. Do NOT talk about your problems with your employees.  Newburger writes that even though a boss might think their employees might want to hear about office gossip from them, they’re wrong. “If you need to talk to someone, find a friend or a coach outside of the practice,” she writes. “We don’t need to know about coworkers’s issues or the financial problems going on in the practice.” It’s important that bosses protect their employees from unnecessary stress that they don’t need in their lives, and a way to do that is to keep gossip to themselves.
4. Do NOT pretend your employees are deaf. Some bosses think that if they aren’t talking to staff members, their staff members aren’t listening. But she said that absolutely isn’t the case. “Close the door when you’re on the phone with your personal issues,” she writes. “All you’re doing is giving us something to gossip about, and we will! This takes away from our ability to respect you. You need our respect, but you have to earn it and act like a boss. If you don’t have our respect, this isn’t going to work.”
5. Do NOT ignore us or treat us with disrespect. Your employees work hard for you, and they should get the same respect they give you. “Do not make us afraid to tell you about something important,” she writes. “Make time for us. The issues we bring to you are relevant either to us as team members or to the practice. Find out what the issues are so we can solve them and get back to business.”

Let’s get something clear real quick. I am in no way saying you can’t be friendly with your employees because who doesn’t like a friendly boss? But you can very easily blur or cross some of these lines without even realizing it. The key, I think, is this: When it doubt, keep it professional.