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Give the Gift of Listening

Give the Gift of Listening

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“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.”
— Bryant H McGill

We all know what it feels like to not be heard, and it doesn’t feel good. Realizing the person you’re communicating with isn’t listening to you often creates frustration and discouragement. Still, even though we know how disrespected we feel to not be heard, we have also–at some point in our lives– have been the inattentive listener.

Let’s say you’re out to lunch with a coworker. While she goes on and on about her holiday plans with you, you find yourself drifting out of the conversation by thinking about the list of items you need to pick up at the store on your way home or by checking your emails and text messages on your phone. Upon your return to the office, you answer a call. While you think you are listening to a customer, you’re focusing on typing an important email, the one you should have finished before you left for lunch. So, were you really listening to the customer?

One of the greatest gifts we can give someone is the gift of being heard. Employers look for candidates who present with excellent listening skills during the interview process. After all, a compassionate listener experiences the emotion expressed by the person speaking. The person speaking feels you care. By listening you are being a helper. Customer service in dentistry—listening to our customers—is KEY. Because managers are on the hunt for someone who positively contributes to their office’s customer service, there are two important words that should appear somewhere on your resume and they are: compassionate listener.

What does it take to be a compassionate listener?

  • First, a compassionate listener listens with the body. Stop what you are doing, face the person, stand or sit tall and make eye contact.
  • Make sure you mind is clear of mental distractions. If the cell phone alerts you to a text, tune it out and focus back on listening to the speaker.
  • You may experience negative or positive emotions rising from within you as the person is speaking to you. Set these emotions aside for the moment and keep listening. Placing your own emotions aside shows your compassion for the person speaking.
  • It is also important to not interrupt and offer advice or offer to solve the person’s problem no matter how tempting it is to do so. If the speaker wants your advice, you will be asked for it.

Next time someone is speaking to you, be present and give the gift of listening.

Kim Knapp
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